Imagine a church. Choose any style you like: classical, neo-classical, gothic or colonial. Now shrink it down so it is between 10 and 30 feet tall. Construct it from the finest materials: black or white marble; red, gray or black granite. Now adorn it with the most beautifully carved angels, or hooded mourners. Be sure not to give them the winsome faces of angels awed by the heavens. Instead, give them expressions of the most profound sadness imaginable. Perhaps you’d like a frieze carved in marble depicting a scene of the most elaborate religious iconography. Go ahead and add a few crosses, but bon«t just plop it on top. Carve them in doorways or make them stained glass as windows. If you like, you can even add a larger-than-life statue of yourself out on the front steps. Now take your elaborate little church and place it in along side thousands of others in a tiled area of 12 square city blocks. You’ve just built yourself a mausoleum worthy of inclusion in the cemetery at Recoleta.

The rich and famous of Buenos Aires settled in this northern area of the city after yellow fever hit their former barrio of La Boca a few hundred years ago. So the rich pulled up their stakes and pitched their mansions in Recoleta. They also pitched their monuments to their dead here. It is said that it is far cheaper to live a lifetime of extravagance than to be buried at Recoleta. It isn’t much of an exaggeration.

At every turn you are awestruck by the artistry, stunned by the ostentation. Some of the edifices are clearly made in loving memory of lost loved ones; some are clearly built as monuments to the egos of those that lay inside. The true glory goes to the artisans who made them, for the stonework is amazing and the architecture astounding.

It took us quite awhile to find the simple, black granite structure where Eva Peron rests. In comparison to her neighbors it is strikingly simple, almost boring. It is probably more appropriate for her because simplicity tends to fit legendary characters and martyrs.

You can tell a lot about a people by how they treat their dead. Anthropologists have done this for years. If we told you the fact that Argentina celebrates it’s politicians and heros not on the day they were born, but on the day they died, you’d gain a bit of insight into the cultural importance of death and of Recoleta. If we told you the fact that Argentina has one of the world’s highest rates of plastic surgery and psychotherapy, you’d understand the ostentatious artistry found in these mausoleums. Walking through Buenos Aires you can’t help but notice that everyone is well-dressed and fashionable. The people have a very European look about them that fits well with the colonial architecture found throughout the city. In fact, there are many jokes about how Argentines see themselves.

How does an Argentine commit suicide?¬

¬He jumps of his ego.¬

An Argentine says to a foreigner, ¬Do you know what place is closest to heaven?¬

The foreigner replies, ì suppose you«re going to say it is Argentina.¬

The Argentine shakes his head, ¬No, Uruguay is closest to Argentina.¬

All fun aside, they are a handsome people in this city and who cares if they know it. If a few of them want to spend their pesos to build a monument that forever declares it through the most elaborate architecture and art, then more power to them. Unfortunately, money isn’t enough. You also have to have the right family name to be buried at Recoleta. Maybe this explains the plastic surgery. If you can’t spend your money on beauty for eternity, why not spend it on beauty now?

Off the subject, but just as important, a tip about travel and taking home for granted: love your pillow and love your Charmin. Enough said.

Thanks for the emails. Unfortunately, we can’t answer them all so please don’t be offended. We appreciate each one and it’s nice to know you’re traveling along with us. Until tomorrow,

The Boys